Dating is about as fun as job interviews

I went on a blind recently and I was not expecting it as I have been on a dating sabbatical for a couple of years now. A friend set me up with an interesting attractive woman, while there was an age difference; everything else on paper indicated a good possibility of success.

Like a lot of dates a few years ago that caused me to swear off dating while working on my PR certificate, the experience pretty much left a lot to be desired. Although we both grew up in the same neighbourhood and went to the same schools, Sarah (name changed for privacy) put in a subtle dig on my living back here in Oakville, she lived in a loft in downtown Toronto, red flag number one. Two, the conversation went into an odd tangents from weekend plans to a graphic novel about convicted bike thief Igor Kenk and Sarah’s disagreeable neighbours.

Red flag number three, Sarah is a foodie, no issue of that, but when I made reference to the gastro pub The Rebel House she did not recognize that and made a face when she found it was located in Rosedale. Turns out she prefers expensive martini bars on King St. West and “it spots” on Queen West near Parkdale near the Drake Hotel. Ok my cool kid visa had expired a while back but not knowing the Rebel House? That’s bad.

Ever the gentleman, I paid for the coffee and followed up two days later by phone when I promised, I guess thinking, maybe a second chance could be salvaged out of this, sometimes we put our worst foot forward in social situations. I got a note a day or two later in my inbox that gave me message in between the lines, “It ain’t happening.”

The recent Robert Cribb piece Three beguiling women talk dating in the Saturday July 31, 2010 Toronto Star lays out what I have been experiencing in my dating experiences with the women I have been meeting in the past eight years off and on.

So from a single man’s point of view my thoughts on the whole dating ritual, you can be movie star or swimsuit model gorgeous with a fabulous career, that catches my initial attention (hey, I’m a single straight man) the hard part is finding middle ground, its tough meeting a total stranger in a dating situation. Ask me about what I do for fun, stay away from controversial subject matter and engage me please!

For the record I am in PR/marketing, yes I’m between jobs but life is much more than about career, I’m a passionate fine art photographer, co-founder of a camera club with membership over 100 people, active in the Oakville arts community and pretty much well read in current affairs. I’m an avid outdoors enthusiast and firm believer in an active lifestyle. There’s enough to talk about, believe me.

I find a sense of humour to be sexy and since I discovered girls in my teens, only one girlfriend put a smile on my face intentionally. I’m still close friends with her long after the relationship ended. It saddens me women either don’t show that they have a sense of humour or have no sense of humour at all. Put a smile on my face, that’s brownie points, make me laugh, you sold me.

Please give me a reason to be interested enough to want to call you to talk further, waste time (in a good way) and ask you out for a second date, it comes back to engaging me.

I’m a Gen Xer so I have been around the block a few times so I know how this all works believe me the only differences between job interviews and dating are dress code, the environment where it takes place and desired outcome.

What now? I’m back focused on my job search and other projects; I’ll leave the fabulous single women with their unrealistic expectations in their natural habitat wondering why they can’t meet a decent single man, if they are really fortunate at some point self awareness will kick in.